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<\/p>\nIt\u2019s been 35 years since the New York Times reported on a \u2018rare cancer seen in 41 homosexuals\u2019 \u2013 an article from the summer of 1981 that\u2019s considered the first major news story about HIV\/AIDS. A generation of gay men have since grown up with condoms and safer sex campaigns a familiar part of everyday life.<\/b><\/p>\n
Recent studies show an increase in unprotected sex amongst HIV-negative gay men. Why are some of us ditching condoms? And in a world of treatment, undetectability and PrEP, is this the start of generation bareback?<\/b><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
This summer,\u00a0 surveyed over 1,500 gay and bisexual men about their general sexual health.<\/b><\/p>\n
One question asked \u2018How much sex in the past year was unprotected anal sex?\u2019<\/p>\n
To round all the above off, about 36% of gay men did not have unprotected anal sex in the last year. About 25% said they only had unprotected anal sex some of the time. And 39% said that all or nearly all of it was unprotected. So who is not using condoms?<\/p>\n
Gay men who are married\/civil partnered or dating a regular partner can reach a stage in their relationship when they agree to condom-free sex with each other \u2013 indeed 51% of the men who responded to our survey say they\u2019ve had sex with just one partner in the past year. 41% said they were in a monogamous relationship.<\/p>\n
But gay men in long-term and monogamous relationships aren\u2019t the only ones choosing not to use condoms. Almost a quarter (24%) those are single men. Being single gay men, they may be having bareback sex with any number of partners.\u00a0 The survey asked these single men how many sexual partners they had unprotected anal sex with in the past year. Their answers are:<\/p>\n
Ian Howley told us his thoughts on these stats: \u201cWe know that the majority of gay and bisexual men use condoms some of the time. There is an idea out there that everyone doesn\u2019t use condoms, and for a lot of people who responded to this survey this is the case. But many of these men are in long term relationships, or are married\/civil partnered or said they were in a monogamous relationship. When you look at these stats, it\u2019s only a small percentage of gay men, who are having lots of unprotected anal sex, who are at a high level of risk. So to say everyone barebacks all of the time is untrue\u201d<\/p>\n
The survey also asked everyone who took the survey about their HIV status. Of the single men who completed the survey:<\/p>\n
Altogether, 54% of single men who are having bareback sex describe themselves as HIV-negative. We decided to ask these men why they choose not to use condoms.<\/p>\n
Sam is 35 from Brighton. He\u2019s single. He doesn\u2019t worry about picking up STIs or becoming HIV-positive, nor does he ask the status of his casual sex partners.<\/b><\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not concerned,\u201d he says. \u201cI know I should be, but I don\u2019t use a condom. I presume most who have HIV are on treatment so are safe.\u201d<\/p>\n
Lorne is 24 from Cardiff. He\u2019s single, only has bareback sex, and has had condomless anal sex with over 30 guys in the past year. He\u2019s not worried about becoming HIV-positive either. \u201cIt\u2019s far from a death sentence,\u201d he says, \u201cI\u2019d prefer to have HIV than diabetes.\u201d He\u2019s also not concerned about having bareback sex with someone who is HIV-positive. \u201cI endeavour not to decline someone based on their HIV status.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mike is 30 from Manchester. He\u2019s single, and nearly all of the sex he\u2019s had in the past year was bareback. He doesn\u2019t worry about HIV or other STIs. \u201cI know it can happen but I just don\u2019t think about it. I get tested regularly.\u201d<\/p>\n
Joe is 25 from the Isle of Wight. He\u2019s single, nearly all of the sex he has is unprotected, and he has been fucked bareback by over 30 guys in the last year. \u201cAs much as I have no desire to catch HIV, I\u2019ve already adjusted to the fact that it may just happen,\u201d he says. \u201cThe reality is, I\u2019m in a high risk group, and even without having bareback sex, I could still be at risk. I don\u2019t want it, but I realise that it could happen, safer or not.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mike is 32 from London. He\u2019s single and has had unprotected anal sex with over 30 guys in the past year. He doesn\u2019t worry about picking up STIs or becoming HIV-positive, nor does he ask the status of his casual sex partners. \u201cI don\u2019t ask as I don\u2019t care,\u201d he says. \u201cI\u2019m a bareback cumdump. I understand the risks.\u201d<\/p>\n
![\"\"](\"http:\/\/b4y.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/gay-lifestyle-sex-bareback-guide-blog-01.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
This echoes a pattern identified in the most recent Gay Men\u2019s Sex Survey.<\/b><\/p>\n
\u201cThe data from the Gay Men\u2019s Sex Survey 2014 indicates that condom use among HIV-positive men hasn\u2019t changed much since 2010,\u201d says Cary James of THT, \u201cbut it does appear that condom use amongst HIV-negative men has declined and so has the overall statistic for gay men.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIn the 2010 survey, 35.9% said they had condomless anal sex with a non-steady partner in the last year,\u201d elaborates Ford Hickson of Sigma, who carried out the research. \u201cIn the 2014 survey, 39.2% had.\u201d<\/p>\n
Breaking this down by HIV status, these figures were:<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t feel nostalgic for the days when there was no effective treatment for HIV. I lost far too many friends at a young age as a result of HIV, and the effective treatment we now have seems to me little short of miraculous,\u201d says Matthew Hodson.<\/b><\/p>\n
\u201cBut I don\u2019t feel surprised that the motivation to protect yourself against HIV has become less pressing when we have seen a shift from it being a death sentence to a virus that is now very treatable.<\/p>\n
\u201cI do know some men who have been diagnosed with HIV and have largely shrugged and taken it in their stride,\u201d Matthew adds. \u201cFar more often I encounter men who have really struggled to come to terms with their diagnosis, at least in the short term. For most, hearing equivalent words to: \u2018Your result has come back and you\u2019ve tested positive for HIV\u2019 is still a powerful and traumatic moment.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sam, Lorne, Mike, Joe and Mike aren\u2019t unusual in not worrying about STIs including HIV.<\/b><\/p>\n
Of the single HIV-negative men who mostly or only have bareback sex, 42% said in our survey they\u2019re not worried about HIV, and 43% said they\u2019re not worried about other STIs. However, 47% admit they do worry about becoming HIV-positive, and 48% worry about picking up an STI \u2013 but despite these worries, they continue having unprotected sex.<\/p>\n
Some accept that becoming HIV-positive is an inevitable consequence of this choice. \u201cI enjoy anonymous unprotected sex,\u201d says David, 27 from Manchester. \u201cIt\u2019s bound to happen.\u201d<\/p>\n
Others have concerns about the level of honesty and clarity around a HIV diagnosis. \u201cI don\u2019t sleep around and just sleep with guys I\u2019m dating,\u201d says Daniel, 35 from Essex. \u201cThe last guy was someone in an open relationship and he said he was negative and free from STIs, but there\u2019s always a slight worry in the back of my mind that they may have something that wasn\u2019t detected in a test, or they may have been dishonest. I prefer to sleep with someone unprotected who has been tested, but I get concerned not everyone is as honest as me.\u201d<\/p>\n
And others have deep concerns about the consequences of their preference for bareback. Carlos is 23 and lives in Ireland. He\u2019s bisexual, single, mostly passive, and nearly all of the anal sex he\u2019s had in the past year was unprotected. He worries about picking up STIs and becoming HIV-positive. \u201cDue to my last few instances of engaging in high risk behaviour, against my better judgement,\u201d he explains, \u201cbecoming positive is still very much a real danger and it\u2019s a lifelong disease to be stuck with.\u201d<\/p>\n
Darius is 26 from Glasgow. He\u2019s single, versatile, and all the anal sex he\u2019s had in the last year has been bareback. He worries about picking up STIs and becoming HIV-positive. \u201cI\u2019m petrified,\u201d he admits. \u201cI think it is the fear of the unknown and fear of the stigma associated with it. I am currently waiting for the results of my latest tests. I\u2019m scared in case I do pick something up \u2013 and it could have been easily prevented.\u201d<\/p>\n
![\"\"](\"http:\/\/b4y.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/gay-lifestyle-sex-bareback-guide-blog-03.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
\u201cHIV remains distinct from most other STIs because there is no cure. If left untreated it will kill you, and it is one of the most stigmatised of all medical conditions,\u201d says Matthew Hodson.<\/b><\/p>\n
\u201cI often hear people condemning others for their sexual choices. It\u2019s easy to judge but it usually isn\u2019t helpful. Somehow because it involves sex (and, what\u2019s more, it involves gay sex) people feel free to get moralistic in a way that they wouldn\u2019t about smoking or drinking alcohol to excess.<\/p>\n
\u201cI would want to say to anyone who believes that HIV is inevitable for them, that it\u2019s not,\u201d Matthew adds.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s not only single guys, or guys in monogamous relationships, who are having bareback sex. Some guys in open relationships told us they have bareback sex with casual partners outside their relationship<\/b><\/p>\n
Kevin is 34 from Ireland. He\u2019s versatile, in an open relationship, and much of the sex he\u2019s had in the last year was unprotected. He asks casual partners their HIV status before having sex: \u201cSo I could make an informed decision on the risks.\u201d Kevin worries about becoming HIV-positive. \u201cI\u2019d prefer not to have to take a pill for the rest of my life, but it happens sometimes.\u201d<\/p>\n
Bruce is 42 from Leeds. He\u2019s in an open relationship, he\u2019s passive, and nearly all of the sex he has is unprotected. He doesn\u2019t ask partners their status. \u201cAlthough I am HIV-negative I don\u2019t serosort,\u201d he says. \u201cThis is partly because I\u2019m on PrEP, partly because most HIV-positive guys are likely to be undetectable (and negative guys who don\u2019t get tested are probably higher risk), and partly because I think sorting guys by HIV status is kinda dehumanising. If a guy tells me he\u2019s positive it doesn\u2019t deter me from letting him fuck me bareback. Most positive guys are undetectable these days.\u201d<\/p>\n
Bruce adds that he doesn\u2019t worry about becoming HIV-positive: \u201cI\u2019m on PrEP but also I have several HIV-positive friends who live full healthy lives. I don\u2019t expect to get it, but if I do I don\u2019t think I\u2019ll be too worried about it.\u201d He does however worry about some other STIs. \u201cMany other STIs are treatable, but super gonorrhoea and hep C do worry me.\u201d<\/p>\n
If condom-free porn is becoming the standard industry practice, does the normality of bareback porn affect gay men\u2019s attitudes towards sex?<\/b><\/p>\n
\u201cIs really a pragmatic response to my sexual habits as I bareback rather a lot,\u201d Bruce explains. \u201cI do frankly think it should be available on the NHS because the protection it provides should be accessible for all those in high risk groups. I am HIV-negative and on PrEP. I have met poz guys who don\u2019t like barebacking with neg guys, but have changed their mind on hearing I\u2019m on PrEP.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI am on PrEP daily,\u201d says Tom, 37 from London. \u201cI always make sure I have bareback sex with other PrEP users or undetectable positive people.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mike, 30 from Manchester, would use PrEP if it were available on the NHS. \u201cBetter safe than sorry,\u201d he says, \u201cespecially when my dick takes over my brain and I do things I know are risky, but I\u2019m too horny to think clearly.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you have unprotected sex with lots of sexual partners, the chances are that you will pick up STIs \u2013 and unless you are taking PrEP, that includes HIV,\u201d says Matthew Hodson.<\/b><\/p>\n
\u201cSome people go through periods of their lives when they feel that they are not able to stop having unprotected sex. For many this will just be a phase, for some it\u2019s a long-term choice. For these people PrEP could make a real difference, and the cost of providing PrEP for a period is much cheaper than the cost of HIV treatment and care for life.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGay men who struggle with their use of chems for sex often say that it\u2019s as a result of wanting to live up to the porn fantasy of sex,\u201d Matthew adds.<\/b><\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s a part of the struggle of modern life that our expectations are often raised far beyond what we are likely to achieve.\u201d<\/p>\n
Steven from Eurocreme disagrees, adding: \u201cGay porn, I believe, doesn\u2019t set the standard for sex. It acts as an access point to find what you\u2019re into. Some people may be disappointed in sex at times \u2013 even porn stars get that from time to time \u2013 but that\u2019s life. Not every day will be a blast, so why should we expect the same to happen in sex?<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you feel down in the dumps regularly in life, you should talk about it with someone and inevitably try changing your perception or find what\u2019s bringing you down and change it. The same goes for sex.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you watch god-like hardcore action and find yourself unable to orgasm with your husband, boyfriend or latest hookup from Grindr, perhaps it\u2019s not porn that\u2019s the problem. Porn may act as a focus, but it shouldn\u2019t be regarded as an all-out cause.\u201d<\/p>\n
![\"\"](\"http:\/\/b4y.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/gay-lifestyle-sex-bareback-guide-blog-04.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
Some men will only have bareback sex with negative guys, while others feel it\u2019s better to bareback with men who are positive, on treatment, and with an undetectable viral load.<\/b><\/p>\n
Darius explains that he wouldn\u2019t have unprotected sex with someone who told him they were HIV-positive. \u201cI would be too scared to put myself at risk,\u201d he says, \u201cand I understand this is silly as it is safer to have unprotected sex with someone who knows they have HIV and is receiving treatment, rather than someone who doesn\u2019t know their status.\u201d<\/p>\n
Max is 41 from London. He\u2019s top only, and nearly all of the sex he\u2019s had in the past year was bareback. He\u2019s not worried about picking up STIs including HIV. \u201cI don\u2019t shag anonymous randoms,\u201d he says. He would consider having sex with someone who is HIV-positive. \u201cPossibly, I suppose. It would depend on their health, viral load, medication, and whether they were undetectable \u2013 but I think the sensible option would be to use a condom.\u201d<\/p>\n
And what of HIV-positive single guys who only or mostly have bareback sex?<\/b><\/p>\n
\u201cI am HIV-positive and undetectable,\u201d says Harrie, 50 from London. \u201cI only play bareback, and usually with other positive guys, or negative on PrEP.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m HIV-positive and only have sex with other positive guys,\u201d agrees Chris, 36 from Manchester.<\/p>\n
\u201cI never do ask,\u201d admits Ben, 31 from Middlesbrough, \u201cand very rarely get asked myself either.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAsking why someone has unprotected sex is like asking why someone drinks too much,\u201d says Matthew Hodson.<\/b><\/p>\n
\u201cThere are going to be a vast array of reasons why someone might do that. It might be that they\u2019re unaware of the health consequences, that they believe they can personally avoid any harms, that they don\u2019t care or that they know and care but find themselves unable to take control \u2013 or a combination of these.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAny decrease in condom use is something which we take very seriously,\u201d says Cary from THT, \u201cbut it\u2019s important to remember that gay men use condoms more than any other highly affected group, so although gay men\u2019s condom use is not perfect, that fact should be recognised and supported.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat said, most gay men at some point in their lives have chosen not to use a condom. The moment that we decide to use a condom or not is a very intimate, often emotional, and irrational moment. In the heat of the moment, rationality and logic are often not the first things in our minds. It\u2019s important that HIV prevention recognises that reality. For some men, knowing the facts about HIV prevention will be enough to motivate them to use a condom. But for others a different approach might be needed. It\u2019s important that we work to drive behaviour change on rational, social and emotional levels. In this way we will have the best chance of reaching those who may not have responded to messages in past.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe are complex beings and our needs, desires and concerns are complex too,\u201d adds Matthew. \u201cEasy answers tend not to work and what works for some people will not work for others. Which is why HIV prevention and sexual health will be most effective when it can address a variety of needs, relating to an individual\u2019s knowledge, will and power to take control of their health, recognising that there will still be some who will choose not to do so.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCondom use among gay men went from virtually zero in the early 80s, pre-AIDS, to very high numbers in the late 80s and early 90s\u2019\u2019, says Matthew.<\/b><\/p>\n
\u2018\u2018Condom use has slipped back a little since then, partly because HIV is no longer a death sentence, and partly because we\u2019re not seeing the same investment in sexual health that we saw a decade ago. With resources deployed to promote condoms and sexual health, encourage testing, challenge stigma, ensure that all gay men are well educated about HIV prevention and PrEP provided, we could end HIV within a generation.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe field of HIV prevention has changed enormously in recent years,\u201d agrees Cary from THT. \u201cThe recent results of the PARTNERS study have shown that HIV-positive people with undetectable viral load can\u2019t pass on the virus. And PrEP has given us another powerful tool in stopping more men from becoming infected. All of these things will change the way people view HIV. That is not something to be feared but an opportunity for us to evolve towards our goal of eliminating HIV.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGMFA wants all gay men to have a choice,\u201d Matthew adds. \u201cWe want the choices that men make to be informed ones, so that they know how to avoid HIV and other STIs, and they know the consequences of having HIV. And we want men to have the will and the power to make choices for themselves.\u201d<\/p>\n
What will the next generation be? Will more of us choose generation bareback? And if we do, does that risk derailing the possibility of ending HIV?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It\u2019s been 35 years since the New York Times reported on a \u2018rare cancer seen in 41 homosexuals\u2019 \u2013 an article from the summer of 1981 that\u2019s considered the first major news story about HIV\/AIDS. A generation of gay men have since grown up with condoms and safer sex campaigns a familiar part of everyday […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1688,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_themeisle_gutenberg_block_has_review":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[92],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1686","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sexrelationship"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/b4y.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1686","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/b4y.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/b4y.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/b4y.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/b4y.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1686"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/b4y.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1686\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/b4y.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1688"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/b4y.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1686"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/b4y.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1686"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/b4y.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1686"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}